Lauri Robinson Read online

  He tipped her head up with one hand so she had to look at him. “Yes, when we start talking, start looking for a compromise between us, I want you thinking with your mind, not your body.”

  Still floating on the little imaginary cloud he’d sent her to, she said, “Well, then, you failed, because I don’t imagine I’ll ever be able to think straight again.” Feeling renewed, and growing a touch serious, she scooted up and propped one forearm on his chest so their faces were chin to chin. “We have to figure this out, Brett. I can’t go on living without you.”

  One of his hands was rubbing her back. The other caressed her cheek. “You know I wanted you to come with me five years ago, and I still do.”

  Her gaze went to her dresser drawer. The thought of losing him permanently, as Widow Wilson had her husband, made her throat burn. Yet, the thought of him leaving again did the same thing, and the pain of seeing him with Lenore—of imagining him doing what he’d just done to her?

  The tears came then.

  “Shhh,” he said, sweetly. “We’ll work it out.”

  “How?” she sobbed.

  Brett wasn’t sure how. He could see that her fear was real. Just as it had been years ago. Seeing it in her eyes had been the only thing that kept him from hoisting her over his shoulder and hauling her to the train with him five years ago. He couldn’t do that now either, but she was willing to talk about a compromise, and he had to come up with one they both could live with, together, forever.

  “When I saw you with Len—”

  “Stop,” he said, pressing a fast kiss against her lips. “You know I love you. Always have.” Another woman was the least of his concerns. “I wasn’t with Lenore. I’ve never been with another woman. Just you.”

  Wiping at her tears, she nodded.

  “What are you so afraid of, Ester?”

  Honesty made the sadness in her eyes more profound. “Of losing you.”

  Shifting, kissing the side of her face as it settled upon his shoulder again, he folded his arms around her warm body. “That’s my fear, too,” he admitted, holding her close. “Of losing you.” Loving her was as much a part of him as Montana was, and deciphering what that meant, had always meant, was something he could no longer avoid.

  They stayed there, simply holding one another, for a long time, until the sensations stirring inside him demanded he either get up or pleasure her again, and this time he wouldn’t be satisfied without full participation. “We better get dressed and go downstairs. Hannah will be home soon.”

  Ester nodded as she rubbed a hand along his side. “Will you stay for supper?”

  “Yes,” he said. “I’ll stay for supper.”

  She wiggled off him, and it was all he could do not to pull her back. As she gathered her clothing and laid it on the bed, she asked, “Where have you been eating?”

  He plucked his shirt off the floor and stood to shrug into it. “I’m afraid I may have become a nuisance at Frank Hespers’s house.”

  “His wife, Faith, is so nice. She wouldn’t have minded feeding you.”

  He’d kept his gaze averted, knowing if he watched her dressing he’d be inclined to start taking her clothes right off again. When she was buttoning the top of her dress, he figured it was safe to help. Pushing her hands aside, he said, “Yes, she is very nice, and never made me feel unwelcome.” He kissed the top of her head, trying to forget how Faith had said the town would fold without Ester. “I knew I couldn’t eat here. That would make me not want to leave, and I wasn’t about to have Lenore serve me after you about pulled her hair out.”

  “That was awful of me.” Looping her arms around his neck, she continued, “But I was so jealous of her. Still am. And I’ll fight her any day.”

  Brett had to admit her possessiveness stroked his ego, yet he’d never want to see her hurt. “You have no reason to be jealous of her.” He then pulled her close for a deep and thorough kiss just to confirm his words.

  They’d only been downstairs about ten minutes when Hannah arrived home and a few minutes later Jesse. Like a family, knowing what needed to be done, everyone pitched in. The table was set and supper was cooking in no time, and the conversation as they ate was playful, teasing and fun.

  Watching Ester, seeing the twinkle in her eyes, the gaiety on her face and the seductive little grin she flashed at him more than once, Brett was once again transported in time. It could easily have been the past, when they were young and shared meals with both her family and his, or it could have been the future, where new memories would be made. Either way, it was right where he wanted to be, and as he followed Jesse out to the barn to help with evening chores, Brett had to question if Montana was where he belonged.

  Later that night, after Jesse and Hannah had gone to bed, and he sat with Ester on the sofa in the parlor, with only one lamp burning low, talking was the last thing on either of their minds. Kissing her, exploring the curves and crevices of her body through her clothes—for he kept the fact either of his siblings could come down the stairs at any moment forefront in his mind—Brett wondered what she’d say if he told her he’d stay. Forever, right here in her little house on the edge of town.

  He didn’t say it. A part of him just couldn’t, and he pondered why as he took his leave, walked the dark and quiet road to the center of town and his hotel room. He loved her beyond all else, and maybe that was why. He wanted to know she loved him beyond all else, too. For deep down that’s who he was, an all-or-nothing kind of person.

  Sleep was a long time coming, and he woke as the sun crested the horizon. After a quick breakfast, he set out across town, to the cemetery and the empty lot, searching for answers he couldn’t find on his own.

  Chapter Six

  Even with the joy of having her parents visit—they’d traveled over an hour by buggy from Des Moines to celebrate her birthday—and with the knowledge that Brett had said he’d arrive in time to have lunch with everyone, Ester couldn’t help but pace between the kitchen and the front door, just to glance down the road.

  “I swear, Ester, you’re more excited now than you used to be when Brett was coming to take you to a dance.”

  “I know, Momma,” she answered. “I just can’t help it. I can’t wait for you to see him. He’s more handsome than ever.”

  “I’m sure he is, dear. And I can’t wait to see him.” Her mother kissed her forehead before moving back toward the counter.

  Ester pulled her eyes from the empty road and made her way into the kitchen. “Mother, were you afraid when you left Boston to move out here with father?”

  Her mother sighed as she pressed a hand to her stomach beneath the peach-colored dress Ester had given her last Christmas, and eyed her thoughtfully. “I was a little apprehensive, but not scared.” Spreading icing across the cake she’d brought from Des Moines to frost upon arrival, she continued, “I loved your father so much that I’d have gone anywhere to be with him.” She set the knife down and walked across the room to take Ester’s cheeks between her hands. “Still do. Are you thinking about Montana?”

  “I—” Ester paused at the sound of Hannah’s high-pitched squeal. Her heart leaped into her throat. “He’s here.”

  Mother grinned. “Well, go say hello.”

  Ester ran, and knowing she had the right and that he’d catch her, she didn’t stop until she’d leaped into Brett’s arms. He greeted her with a solid kiss and a long hug that had her heart turning cartwheels.

  “I missed you,” he whispered as he set her down.

  “I missed you, too,” she answered, stretching on her toes to kiss his lips one more time. Then she straightened the string tie around his neck, taking in how handsome he looked in the white shirt. “My parents are excited to see you. Momma’s in the kitchen and Papa’s in the carriage house with Jess.”

  She turned, tugging him with her, and laughed as her gaze landed on the house. “Actually they’re both right there, on the porch.”

  “Hello, Brett,” her father said.

&
nbsp; “Mr. and Mrs. Larson,” he greeted.

  “Brett, don’t disappoint us. You’ve called us Lizzie and Galen for years,” Mother said, moving forward.

  Ester had to step aside while her parents hugged Brett, but instantly moved back to his side as they all entered the house, the men conversing about horses and carriage wheels as if they’d been in the middle of a conversation when Brett arrived.

  He kept his arm around her all the way into the kitchen, and gave her side a little squeeze as he sat down next to her father and she went to the stove to pull out the ham she’d put in the oven after church. Lunch was a splendid affair, and the only time the smile slipped from Ester’s face was when she had to make a wish before blowing out the candles on the cake. She wasn’t sure what to wish for—the ability to go to Montana or Brett to agree to live here.

  The sweet, sincere smile upon his face had her closing her eyes, and before either wish was cast, a knock sounded on the front door.

  “I’ll get it,” Hannah announced.

  Ester, heart throbbing, for she still didn’t know which wish to ask for, turned when Brett laid his hand upon hers and squeezed her fingers. Just like always, he knew her thoughts. She folded her fingers around his and blew out the candles without making a wish.

  “Oh, Minister Hutton,” Mother said as Hannah led the man into the room. “How nice to see you.”

  “Lizzie, Galen, I told Ester I’d stop by to say hello.” The minister smiled as he nodded toward the table. “But I didn’t mean to interrupt your lunch.”

  “You didn’t,” Mother insisted. “Can I get you a plate? There’s plenty.”

  “No, thank you, I’ve already eaten, but I’d love a piece of cake,” the man said, taking the extra chair Jesse had already gathered from the far wall.

  Once the cake was consumed, the men went to check on Father’s wheel, and as soon as the dishes were done, Mother said, “Come, I want to see something.”

  “What?” Ester asked, following her up the stairs.

  Mother went to the room she and Father used while visiting. It had always been theirs and Ester had left it so. There, Mother opened the wardrobe door and pulled out the dress covered with a sheet.

  “What are you doing?” Ester asked. It was the gown she’d sewn for her wedding, even though Brett had already left town. She’d worked on it for months, covering the yards of silk and lace with tiny pearl beads, dreaming someday she’d wear it.

  “I want to see if it still fits, or if we need to make alterations.” Mother laid the gown on the bed and started undoing the long line of covered buttons that ran up the back.

  Ester shook her head. “Brett and I haven’t—”

  “Just try it on,” Mother interrupted, now holding the dress up.

  “But—”

  “Ester.”

  Mother had a tone no one argued with, and Ester began unbuttoning the blue dress she still planned on wearing to Jesse’s graduation at the end of the week. She and Brett had talked of a compromise, not marriage. Yet, ultimately they’d wed, she had no doubt, and that had her undressing a mite faster. After laying the blue dress aside, Ester stepped into the wedding gown and turned for her mother to fasten it.

  “You know, dear,” Mother said, “when Brett left Montana, your father and I understood you were young, and fearful of leaving us. We made no attempt to sway your decision either way, but at times these past years we’ve questioned that.”

  Glancing over her shoulder, Ester asked, “What do you mean?”

  Fastening the final buttons on the back of the collar, Mother said, “You’ve been nothing but a shell of yourself since Brett left.” Walking around the dress, she fluffed out the long skirt. “Your place is beside him, Ester. I know Montana seems like a long ways from here, but it’s truly not that far.”

  “Are you telling me to go?” A mixture of emotions tumbled around inside her. Not joy or sorrow, but a combination of the two. “I’ll miss you.”

  “And we’ll miss you.” Her mother framed her face with both hands. “But we’ll visit. Your father and I would rather know that this girl, the one who met us on the porch this morning, is happily living in Montana with the man she’s always loved than visit the girl we’ve seen the past five years, the one wasting away in this old house on the edge of town.”

  It was true: since the day he’d left, just getting out of bed had been a chore. “I didn’t think he’d really go.”

  “Darling—”

  Ester ran across the hall, into her room, and—needing her mother’s advice more than ever—she dug out the articles.

  Frowning, Mother scanned them. “Where did you get these?”

  “Mrs. Wilson.”

  “Wido—these are the reason you didn’t go with Brett?”

  Ester nodded.

  Mother set her down on the bed. “I wish you’d shown me these then.”

  “Mrs. Wilson said if Brett really loved me, he’d stay here, where it’s safe.”

  “Safe? Ester, do you really think Brett would put you in danger? Put Jesse and Hannah in danger? He’s a smart man, a brave man, who loves you. He’s always loved you above all else. Brett is the one who will keep you safe above all else. No matter where you live.”

  Mother crumpled up the articles and tossed them aside. “I don’t know all of what Mrs. Wilson told you, and I don’t want to know, because it’s time you got over it. Brett’s going back to Montana, and if you love him, truly love him, you’ll go with him.”

  * * *

  Brett was fastening the wheel back on to the buggy when Ester’s father, a tall blond-haired Swede, gave his shoulder a friendly slap.

  “Thanks, Brett,” Galen said, “for fixing the wheel and for giving Lizzie and me our daughter back.”

  The jolt that raced up his spine had Brett teetering on his heels as he tightened the last bolt. He thought for a moment, but couldn’t decipher what the man meant. “Excuse me?”

  Galen’s blue eyes, the same shade as his daughter’s, twinkled as he chuckled. “The moment Lizzie and I drove up and saw Ester standing on the front porch, we looked at each other and said, Brett’s back.”

  “You did?”

  “Yeah, we did. She’s a whole person again. We saw that in one glance.” The man slapped his shoulder again. “I should have made you take her to Montana when you left five years ago.”

  Galen had always been like a second father to Brett, and Brett felt no qualms sharing his deepest thoughts. “I couldn’t have done that. She was too afraid.” He shook his head. “I couldn’t have broken her heart like that.”

  “I know that, son, but you did break her heart when you left.”

  Brett swallowed at the lump in his throat.

  “Don’t blame yourself, Brett. You had to go, just like you have to go back now.”

  “I don’t know?” Sighing, Brett glanced over his shoulder at the little white-and-green house. He’d made a decision this morning. Was going to ask Ester to try Montana, just for the summer, and if she didn’t like it, he’d sell out and they’d move back. But now, talking to her father, he wondered if that was the right compromise. “I don’t know if I can ask her to leave.”

  “You have to,” Galen said. “Your parents told me all about the ranch you’ve built back up these past five years. I’m looking forward to seeing it.”

  Brett nodded, unable to speak due to the thick swelling in his throat. The ranch filled him with pride and a sense of accomplishment, and he wanted people to see it, to see how his move had been profitable. But Ester’s happiness meant more.

  “You know why she stayed here when we moved to Des Moines, don’t you?”

  Though his gut tightened, Brett shook his head.

  “Because she wanted you to find her right where you’d left her.” Galen squeezed his shoulder. “After the fire, when we brought Jess and Hannah here, we thought Ester might take the kids and go to Montana, but, no, she planted that stubborn little butt of hers on the chair and said if yo
u wanted the kids, you’d come get them. She was hoping you’d come get her, too, of course.”

  Brett could almost see the exchange, and grinned. For as much as it drove him crazy, he loved her stubbornness.

  “Don’t give her a choice this time, Brett.” Galen glanced toward the house. “A man can only wait so long.”

  Brett felt his ears reddening. He’d promised Galen years ago he’d never overstep the boundary when it came to Ester, and yesterday, he’d come as close to that boundary as humanly possible.

  “Brett?” Lizzie called from the back porch. “Can you come here, please? Ester needs you for a moment.”

  “Sure,” he answered, leaping to his feet and brushing his hands on his thighs.

  Chapter Seven

  Brett’s throat completely locked up as he took in the sight before him. The white gown, shimmering and sparkling in the sunlight that suffused the room through the parlor windows, made her the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen—outside of yesterday, when she’d stood completely unclothed before him.

  “Mother wanted me to try it on, make sure it fits properly,” Ester said, her cheeks becoming rosy.

  “I’d say it fits,” he answered, grinning like a fool.

  “I—I think I’ve come up with a compromise.” The dress trailed behind her with a swishing sound as she moved forward, hands out for him to take. “Mother said she’d asked Minister Hutton if he’d marry us today. And if you agree to that, marrying me today, I’ll go to Montana with you next week.”

  The burst of joy inside him came out as a rough laugh. “That’s a compromise?”

  She nodded.

  He was a grown man, yet had never felt the sting from tears of joy in his eyes before, and that left him speechless for a moment. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a package. “I had Fred Hammer open his store this morning, so I could buy this for you.”

  Taking the package, she folded back the paper and opened the box. He lifted out the ring. “I was going to ask you to marry me today,” he said. “And ask you to come to Montana, just for the summer. If you don’t like it, we’ll sell out and move back here.”